Just wanted to record down my raw feelings at the current moment. :-) throughout my life I think I have never exceled in my academics since primary school till now. I'm always the mediocre student but in secondary school, spefically sec 3 and sec 4, my academics were atrocious to the point where teachers in my school gave up on me. I remembered how a teacher of mine blabbered shit about me to my parents and was forced to drop a subject - because they didn't want me to ruin the stats they have painstakingly perfected it over the years.
All these while I have the misconception of myself having an IQ that is lower than others as I see my close friends scoring perfect scores for their exams and attaining desirable GPA points. In other words I see myself as stupid and a slower learner than others. I always envied others who got into their desired course of study in poly, I have to admit that I hated my poly life because I'm that kind of person who takes fucking long to adapt to new environment and what made it worse was that none of my friends were in my school, let alone my course.
Having panic attacks during exam periods that were uncontrollable was pure ugh. New class, new people this sem, took lesser time to adapt because I have made genuine friends from my year 1 class which makes school much bearable as we have common breaks!
Still remembered that I was pretty sure I was gonna screw up my already not-so-good GPA IMO because I kept skipping lectures this particular sem. Locked myself in my room for almost a week to rush through the lecture books and secured a rather good GPA IMO for the current sem which I will never ever dared to think I will attain and get into the director's list wtf right??? Was beyond shocked at work.
P.S: not in any way bragging pls. Trying to do the bkk haul asap, been busy with work!
No comments:
Post a Comment