December 28, 2015


Hi guys, this year is just passing by so ever quickly and I have not updated this space for awhile!

3 more days till the end of 2015, usually around December period I will be most excited for Christmas and be in the festive spirit but this year I just can't because of internship. 

Currently interning at LS, and boy oh boy I thought I could handle the 10 weeks of internship. I just ended Week 3 yesterday and today is my off day before continuing on for 3 consecutive shifts. I only have to work 4 days for Week 4 because of new year (whew) and since I will be clearing out 3 at one go, it comforts me just a little that I am gonna reach the halfway mark really soon. 

Have been crying almost every week, not ashamed to say that but I sincerely believe that this is my lowest period in my whole 19 years. Being forced to report to work daily in town just sucks. I used to love going to town, but now whenever I step foot in Orchard, especially Ion, the heavy feeling in my heart just weighs me down and consumes me as a whole. Crying does help, just a little to get through a few days before I crumble and fall. Not being dramatic, but sometimes during my sleep I still get reminded of LS and the songs they blast in the store. It is haunting me everywhere. Not that a off day does me good other than the fact that I get to rest my poor feet but subconsciously I still think about LS.

I am counting down everyday, I was relieved that Week 4 is already here, but when I think about it again, I still have 6 more weeks to get through and my positivity wavers every time I think of that. I told myself to just hold it out and wait for Linus' arrival which is end of Week 7, so I have about 3 more weeks left to see him. I am really really excited to see him again, but I feel like I am a depressed kid right now. How on earth can I hang in there? 

Telling myself that I can do it, hang in there Eileen. One day at a time and look at one week by one week. Do not dread the shifts, for they make you one day closer to 12 Feb. 2016 is coming, just get over and done with Jan and you are left with 2 weeks. 

Please be strong.

October 25, 2015

Long Distance Relationship

I don't think I did mention here that currently Linus is in Scotland for an overseas studies exchange program for 4 months so he will be back in Singapore in late January next year. 

So far it has been a month since he flew off to the UK, and never would I have thought that I will experience this thing called LDR. I mean yeah I have heard so many things about LDR on tumblr ever since I started using that platform but like me experiencing it? Nah. 

For me personally, I find it a rather good experience! 'Absence makes the heart fonder', wise words indeed. I find myself looking forward to every Wednesday of the week and mentally striking off the x number of weeks more to go subconsciously.

 I learn to cherish him more, and not taking him for granted. I have a love and hate relationship with time difference though. It happens like this: I wake up early for internship at 6 in the morning, and he sleeps when I wake up. But sometimes he can't stay awake so he will have to sleep early for his morning classes and oh boy it irritates me so much when I miss him online on Whatsapp by 2 minutes! Which also meant that I have to wait till late afternoon around four to five to speak to him again. :( From the time he sleeps till the time he wakes up, so many things can happen and it sucks so much that I can't tell him straight away. (I mean yeah I can message him but the respond from him will be 4-5 hours later, and yall know that immediate response is lovely.)

However, through this I get to see different sides of him that I would never get to see if he was in Singapore. He will make the effort to stay up until I wake up most of the days, chat for a little while and then heads off to dreamland. Also, he tries to wake up earlier to chat as well before he starts his day. Initially, when he didn't have a local Scotland number there oh boy it was so difficult. Whenever he left his dorm (which is very very often) = no more communication until he comes back. It was painful waiting, constantly checking on his Whatsapp last seen to see if he gets wifi when he is out so I won't miss a chance to speak to him. He makes an effort to come home super early from his shopping trips just so we can Facetime before I head for bed. Such little gestures and efforts really warms up my heart.

At the start, he was always on my mind (not that he is not now!!) and it was a little difficult to cope for me personally as I have internship during the weekdays and on Saturdays I have a part-time job. We tried to Facetime quite regularly but ya'know things don't go the way you want them to. Time difference, work and social life played a part. But right now since it is the 5th week (omg so many more weeks to go), I am contented and satisfied with just a Facetime session in a week!

Met up with my closest friends almost every week and I am very blessed! Having more time for girls day out and me time.

As sour as it can get, I do envy couples when I am out with my friends/ running errands.

In short, it is a constant wait, always counting down to the days till I can see him again. On the other hand, I experience things I don't get to. Seeing Scotland through his eyes and feeling that I am there as well. My mom said not to envy yesterday because I was sitting on my comfortable sofa, eating the mushroom spaghetti she cooked for me specially after work.

Can't wait till I see you again Linus! I miss you so much.