January 27, 2014

Some thoughts

Hello sweets, this is going to be a wordy post and I apologize for that. 
I have been feeling really sad for the past 24 hours and I really feel that I need a space to write about it. This post isn't targeting at anyone or whatsoever just a disclaimer! 
It's like... plans change and people change too, people whom I thought were the closest turned out to be something else and that hurts me a hell lot. I always prioritize friends over myself, what more about close friends. To me, friendships are a genuine mutual thing, can't be forced however if I managed to hit off well with someone, I'd already treat her as a friend and not an acquaintance. 
I'm just pondering over something that I wish it isn't true. I know I'm not popular or pretty or anything near that hands down I know. I am fully aware and I don't act like I am! (I'm just really blessed to have more than a thousand followers on Instagram who likes my posts and I leave it as that. Even if my posts gets little acknowledgement/likes, I am still happy. I'm always counting my blessings. 💕)
and I don't act like I am all high and mighty, but if the term 'friendship' is beginning to feel like I'm not good enough and makes me feel bad about myself.... Like I'm not worthy/not popular enough to be your friend thus the non acknowledgement in some situations. I don't know how I should feel about this but right now I'm just feeling like a sore loser. A big one. 
To me, friendship is not and will never be based on popularity, the number of likes on Instagram or other social media platforms and looks. If any feel that I'm not good enough to be a friend of yours or you are too ashamed to be friends with me, I fully understand and respect that and will get the fuck out of your lives. 
Because. I . Am . So. God. Damn. Fucking . Sick. Of. All . This. Popularity . Crap. Or. The. Mental. Competition. That's. Going. On. 
I just wanna be happy, and be with real genuine friends who care. Is that too much to ask for? 


Anonymous said...

In the world there's always people who are jealous of others. However it depends on how they look and handle it.
Some people look at it as a motivation, which is the positive side. There's also another group which look at it at the negative side.
Just ignore them and live with your wonderful life and have fun with your true friends.:-):-)

Anonymous said...

Cheer up Eileen <3 time will prevail who is worth your time, just don't be made use of alr. Love you.